requiescat
by mentallyunrefined
Summary: Based on a poem by Oscar Wilde. Cloud angsting over Aeris. Suggested character death i guess.


First fanfic. I read this poem during my lit. class and the first thing that I thought of was...AERIS! (even though I don't like her heh) hahah so I wrote this in class and typed it out when I got home. by the way, I never actually played the game, only watched AC and read a lot of fanfics so I hope it turns out okay...

Disclaimer: don't own anything. The poem is _Requiescat_ by Oscar Wilde.

Notes: the four line stanzas in italics/bold are the poem, meant to be Cloud's thoughts...sort of. The bold lines are Vincent's advice to Cloud and the italics in the paragraphs are Cloud's thoughts.

_Tread lightly, she is near_

_Under the snow,_

_Speak gently, she can hear_

_The daisies grow._

As he sat at the edge of the water, watching the small ripples caused by tossed pebbles break on his boots, he remembered. The way she used to walk and turn back, smiling sweetly at him. Staring into the clear, almost glowing water, he fancied he could see her lying on the bottom, surrounded by sand that pooled and eddied around her, moving in time to the beat of her heart.

If he thought back hard enough, he could see her resting amongst the flowers she so loved, eyes closed in bliss and contentment. Once, jokingly, he had asked her what joy she found in flowers that wilted and died even with the tenderest care. She had tilted her head to one side and replied with that sweet smile, the flowers grow, and sing when they do. Can't you hear them?

_All her bright golden hair_

_Tarnished with rust,_

_She that was young and fair_

_Fallen to dust._

Unbidden, the image of her body getting touched by rust and dirt, soiled by time, came to his mind. Her light brown hair gone dark and murky with muck and grit; fair and unblemished skin turned leathery and creased by the claws of time; eyes sunken in and made hollow. He shook his head violently and turned his thoughts elsewhere.

_Lily-like, white as snow,_

_she hardly knew_

_she was a woman, so_

_sweetly she grew_

She never knew just how tempting her innocence was, how he longed to brush his lips against hers when she gave that charming little smile, how the way she swung her hair reminded him of silk flying in the wind. She was so innocent, never knowing how her every action attracted his gaze.

_Coffin board, heavy stone,_

_lie on her breast,_

_I vex my heart alone,_

_She is at rest._

He sighed. _I try to tell myself that she isn't here anymore, that her smile won't brighten up my day again, except in my memories. I know the others feel that too, that loss. But am I the only one who will mourn forever for the absence of her light? Don't mark me wrong, I'm happy for Tifa and Vincent, they match each other like me and Aeris did. Everyone was startled when Yuffie and Reno announced their engagement; nobody expected them to get together. Yuffie has even managed to brainwash Marlene into being her bridesmaid. I'm not sure how Barrett will react._

**Peace, Peace, she cannot hear**

**Lyre or sonnet,**

_All my life's buried here,_

_Heap earth on it._

"Cloud, what are you doing here?"

He turned around and smiled wearily at Vincent. Only Vincent listened enough to understand, or guess, what he was going through. As if knowing Cloud's thoughts, Vincent folded his arms and sat down, joined Cloud in staring out at the water.

"You do understand that she'd have wanted you to get on with your life and not mourn for her, don't you." Leaning back and closing his eyes, Cloud nodded, not wanting to break the peacefulness.

"She won't be able to hear you if you talk to her." Vincent's voice slipped into a hushed tone, like he too felt the peace of their surroundings.

"Vincent."

"hm?"

"Do me a favor." Cloud stood up abruptly.

"...what kind of favor." Vincent's voice was wary as he stood up to face him, the contentment in it gone.

"I can't go on living like this, this ghost of myself. The others don't say it out loud but they give me pitying looks and treat me like I'm a delicate piece of glass that might shatter when it hears _her_ name. Everything's over already, I'm not necessary anymore. Nobody can live like this for long and stay sane. Do me a favor. Go back to Seventh Heaven and pretend this conversation never happened that you never saw me here. Do this as a favor to a friend." Cloud was almost pleading and he hated that he should sound so weak.

Vincent looked closely at Cloud; he could see how the strain was taking its toll. His large blue eyes had tinges of red in the whites and even his spikes drooped lower. He opened his mouth to ask Cloud if he had thought about how the others would react, then snapped it shut. Cloud's face was tired and his eyes were...old was the only way to describe them.

He nodded sharply turned away and started to walk back. Cloud watched him go and smiled to himself. Vincent understood...Cid or Barrett would have cursed, knocked him out and dragged him screaming to a mental institution. Tifa would have broken down, and that would make him feel guilty. Yuffie...he didn't bother to finish that thought. Instead, he turned to look at his sword, lying at the edge of the pool.

_Aeris...I'm joining you..._


End file.
